Di

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After years of living and working abroad as a military spouse, Di found herself starting anew when her marriage ended in the 1970s and she resettled in the UK to raise her children. But, decades later, when she was in her seventies, Di faced a steep rent hike, which forced her from her home of 20 years. Having been familiar with SSAFA since her years as a military spouse, Di reached out to SSAFA and began a new chapter at the Royal Homes Wimbledon. SSAFA's support was a lifeline for Di, providing her with secure and affordable housing when she had no other options.

Coming from a naval family, Di had to adapt to constant changes and moves from a young age. She spent time in foster care before marrying a soldier in the 1958. In 1959, Di accompanied her husband to Cyprus where they started their family.

“My husband was with the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers (REME) and was attached to different regiments during the postings. He was off to Beirut with the tanks as soon as I arrived,” she recalls.

Throughout their marriage and her husband’s service, the family lived in countries including Yemen, Cyprus, and Germany. Each posting brought its own set of opportunities and trials, which Di met with enthusiasm and resilience. As she tells us now: “I've been very lucky from when I joined army life to have visited many countries.”

I think being an army wife makes you very independent

In the 1960s, a posting in Yemen was both a challenge and an adventure, full of unpredictability. “We arrived in Aden, and we had quarters in Crater, Maalla, and Khormaksar. I worked for the Brigade Major in HQ Aden Brigade. Whilst at work one day, the radio went off in his office about an explosion and I found out that one of the casualties was my own husband. He was hurt by splinters from the shrapnel.”

In Aden, Di's house overlooked the SAS barracks and she’d often see the soldiers’ comings and goings, which she vividly remembers: “SAS are nuts, aren’t they? The lorries used to come around very quickly, and they just had to jump off. They wouldn't stop for them to get off, they just had to jump! Next minute, they were on the roof of the block.”

Amidst these excitements and dangers, Di remained resilient and dedicated to her family. As a military spouse, she embraced each new location and made the most of it, seizing opportunities to explore nature and observe the diverse wildlife. She was also active in Saddle Clubs. Her lifelong love for animals started when she was fostered by a farm manager in her childhood (nine months through 13 years of age).

“I was a member of the Saddle Club and had my own horse,” she remembers, recalling her life in Yemen. “Life in Aden was good. I worked from 8:00 till 1:00, and, in the afternoon, I attended the Saddle Club. The children were at school from 8:00 till lunchtime, as the heat was so high that school was not held in the afternoon. I enjoyed going to Little Aden for polo matches.”

Now, at home in her flat, she cherishes albums brimming with photos that vividly capture the journey and experiences of her life.

“I think being an army wife makes you very independent,” she tells us. “When I was doing it, the men were always away, and you had to make decisions. He was in Singapore, Penang, and all sorts of places. When they go off for six months, it's just you, and you have to make those decisions. And then one gets very independent.”

Such sentiments resonate with armed forces spouses and families across the generations, many of whom spend significant amounts of time apart from their serving loved ones.

While taking care of her family, Di also worked on the military bases, which led to her first connection with SSAFA.

“In April 1967, we left Aden and were stationed in Osnabrück with the British Army of the Rhine (BAOR),” she recalls. “I worked full-time at the Medical Reception Station (MRS), where we had 20 beds and treated soldiers with minor ailments. It was there that I first encountered SSAFA, with Sister Joan conducting home visits for new mothers and babies.”

The ‘SSAFA Sisters,’ originally called the Alexandra Nurses, were established in 1892 to provide professional care to the wives and families of the soldiers and sailors across the world. SSAFA nurses, midwives, and health visitors are still at work today, supporting British Armed Forces personnel and their families posted overseas as part of SSAFA’s Community Health Care Team.

In their decades of service, SSAFA Sisters made strong impressions on many spouses, families, and service personnel, including Di.

“Joan was a lovely lady but sadly left us after some time to join Save the Children in Ethiopia,” Di remembers. The two lost contact but would reconnect years later when Di was back in the UK.

In addition to interacting with SSAFA Sisters, Di also knew of SSAFA because both of her children attending boarding schools. As she recalls, “SSAFA arranged at that time to meet the children at airports and deliver them to their boarding schools.”

With a heart for adventure, Di also took opportunities to travel while the family was posted abroad. She remembers: “While in BAOR on one of our postings, I decided to travel by train to see my uncle in Berlin. He used to work for UK government and his son used to run the British Forces Radio station. It was quite a hairy ride through East Germany.”

My marriage ended when we came home

Though Di enjoyed the adventures of military family life, the constant relocations also brought significant challenges. As Di’s children grew older, frequent moves meant they had to continually adapt to new environments, schools, and social circles. Worried that this instability could impact their education and personal growth, Di decided to leave the posting and return to the UK in the 1970s.

“My marriage ended when we came home,” she explains. Her divorce left her without resources or support, but her adaptability and resilience served her well in starting over.

“When I returned to the UK in 1973, I secured a job which included a three-bedroom house as part of the package. My son was at college, and my daughter was at the local grammar school. I managed a road haulage and shipping firm with offices in Portugal.”

By chance, Di also reconnected with former SSAFA Sister Joan. “I saw her on television when Princess Anne visited her in her hospital in London. Her vehicle had been blown up in Ethiopia, and she was returned to the UK for treatment, but sadly, she lost her sight.” This unexpected encounter allowed Di to rekindle her friendship with Joan. “After Joan had recovered, she would visit me every year for a two-week holiday with her guide dog in Wales.”

After her children were grown, Di followed her passion for animals and moved to the West Country. “In the late '80s, I relocated to Devon and managed a livery stable, where I also had donkeys from the Sidmouth Donkey Sanctuary come to stay as it became their forever home.”

Di also purchased an Arabian foal named Mehdar, who became a British National Champion. “We travelled both far and wide to shows with Mehdar all over Europe,” she recalls fondly. “As I needed some help with the horses, I moved to Wales to a National Trust property.”

Ever resourceful, Di also worked so she could continue looking after her animals. “During my time here, I needed extra money to be able to look after the horses properly, so I took another part-time job in the care sector.”

For nearly two decades, Di lived contentedly in Wales, with a fulfilling life shaped around her love of animals. But in the 2010s, an unexpected knock on the door changed everything. Di was shocked when the landlord suddenly increased the rent by 50%. She had spent nearly 20 years tending to and improving the property, but in a moment, her security for the future vanished. “That’s when I decided to move,” she recalls.

In her seventies and facing the threat of being left without housing, Di's resilience was tested to its limits. She could not afford to buy a property and needed to urgently relocate.

Do it, do it, get on and do it.

It was during this challenging time she recalled her long-standing connection with SSAFA, which started decades ago at the Medical Centre in Osnabrück. Her friendship with SSAFA Sister Joan had kept SSAFA in her mind throughout the years, so Di reached out to SSAFA and the Royal Homes Wimbledon.

“I had an interview in April and got a place by May 3rd, which was quick. So yes, I came up here in 2013 and I've been lucky.”

“Since then, I've been here. I have a lovely flat and I've met some lovely people.”

Originally created in 1899, the Royal Homes Wimbledon provides independent-living housing for serving and former members of all ranks of the Armed Forces and their families. It provides residents with a beautiful living environment at a reasonable cost, prioritising those most in need. For Di, it offered a haven amidst a challenging socio-economic landscape and a rising cost of living.

Relieved that she doesn’t have to worry about eviction or unfair rent increases, she speaks with warmth and humour: “You know, I’m lucky, and I feel lucky anyway… you’re not going be chucked out as long as you pay your rent and keep your house tidy and don't cause any trouble. I don't think I cause any trouble!”

SSAFA's assistance ensured Di didn’t face her challenge alone. Now, her message to those who might benefit from SSAFA’s support is clear: “Do it, do it, get on and do it.” Di is happy she moved when she did.

With a tenacity from years as a military spouse and single parent, Di is a strong, independent woman who remains a devoted animal lover and a caring mother. In her ninth decade of life, she is grateful to SSAFA for the security the Royal Homes provides.

“I’m happy to have my home here. I’m lucky, really, in my opinion, to have somewhere like this to live.”