Live ChatDiana Hart Dyke is married to David Hart Dyke who was Captain of HMS Coventry during the Falklands Conflict. On the 25 May 1982 Diana heard word that a ship had been sunk, but it took hours for the full picture to emerge and she didn’t find out until over 24 hours later that, although he had suffered burns, David had survived and was safe.
“I met my future husband in the Persian Gulf, as it was known in those days, and my father was what was called, 'Political Resident,' out there. David was navigator of HMS Gurkha and the ship took my father and me from Bahrain to Muscat for thee days so we literally met on the bridge at sea.
“…Both grandfathers were Admirals as was an uncle and two other uncles in the navy were killed in the Second World War. So Navy was very much part of my life and I was absolutely delighted to marry into a few years later in 1967."
But we accepted it just as you have to really with the Navy.
“When I heard that HMS Coventry was turning South rather than coming home it was very disappointing immediately because it was just before Easter and the families day had been arranged. Our two daughters who were then quite young were very sad. None of us quite realised how serious it was at that point, but we accepted it as you have to being married to the Navy.
“Day to day life during the Falklands had to go on in much the same way for two daughters but there were a lot of extra things involved. All the ship's company families had my address and telephone number, so I kept in constant touch with them.”
… they came from Wales and Yorkshire and they came from miles in order I think simply to be able to talk to other people…
“I became very aware that for some they must have felt very isolated living in parts of the country where there was no-one else involved in the Falklands at all and indeed surrounded by people who probably weren't particularly interested in what was going on. So I started to arrange tea parties helped by Naval establishments like HMS Collingwood.
“… the families came from as far afield as Wales and Yorkshire, I think simply to be able to talk to other people who were suffering the same anxieties and fears as they were. It was very nice to meet them and it seemed to work rather well.”
…then I came to the date of May 25th…
“… I was very lucky, at that time I was living in Petersfield [Hampshire] and surrounded by others in the same situation, and we all understood what each of us was going through. It was always a bit nerve wracking hearing the news every evening and wondering if it involved your particular ship. Then I came to the date of May 25th which I remember vividly as the most lovely early summer's day. I was out gardening and I felt very, very calm and I thought to myself, 'This is wonderful, I feel we've got through this now and everything is going to be alright, Coventry will come home.'
“But actually it was the calm before the storm and that evening I heard on the news that a ship had been hit and was sinking fast, but it didn't say which ship which made it rather difficult. All through the night everyone you can imagine from the ships company families were ringing up and asking, 'What did I know?'"
… they expected to save nearly everybody…
“…a kind friend who was working at Northwood had promised me he would let me know if Coventry was involved… he rang me in the early morning and told me the ship had been hit and it had sunk by then. They were picking up people out of the water and they expected to save nearly everyone but very sadly there were 19 deaths. I had to wait until four in the afternoon to hear that David was safe.
“…I think in a situation like that you do find a kind of inner strength that helps you through, I also think being the wife of the Captain actually was a great help to me because I knew how many people were dependent on me to keep them updated with the latest news.
“… I heard at four in the afternoon that David was safe and then a little while later I heard he'd been quite badly burnt which was a bit of a shock. But nevertheless he was safe and that was wonderful. Then the ship’s company were transferred to the QE2, which eventually brought them home.”
…it took three weeks for them to come home… there's such a strong bond when you've been through something like that…
“…it took three weeks for them to get back to Southampton, so there was time for them to adjust to the idea of homelife and for us to get ready for them. I didn't really know how badly burnt David’s face was, but during that time he had quite a lot of treatment so it really wasn't too bad at all by the time he returned.”
“I took the children down to Southampton to watch QE2 coming in which was very exciting… at the same time I had a slight feeling of anxiety for the whole ship's company; that they were going to disperse and no longer be together, because there must have been such a strong bond between them all after such an experience."
…he talked about it for about 14 months which was a huge help… talking is a hugely important thing and I think it's very sad that a lot of people weren't able to and have suffered, probably still as a result.
“I was also worried about how they would all adjust, including David, to ‘so called’ normal life. I think some did find it very difficult, and David was obviously very traumatised by it, but he talked about it for about 14 months which was a huge help and a lot of friends came and listened to him.
“By the end of that 14 months, he suddenly saw the light at the end of the tunnel and got through it on his own in the most remarkable way. Well, at least he found a way of living with it, I would say.”
“I think talking is an extremely important thing and I think it's very sad that a lot of people who weren't able to still suffer as a result. I know one or two who have terrible nightmares and relive the whole thing despite sometimes talking about it but I think usually if you can talk about it as much as possible can only be a help."
The ship's company have always kept in touch…
“The ship's company have always kept in touch and meet each year on the 25th of May in Portsmouth. Some like to move on and no longer need or want reunions but for others it continues to be very important.
“I think it's absolutely incredible what we achieved … it was really the most remarkable thing at such a distance and against such odds and it had to be done.”
I loved every moment of being a naval wife…
“I loved every moment of being a naval wife, partly because it was in my blood and I enjoyed knowing that life was going to change every 2 or 3 years when David moved on to another job.
“… the long times apart, 6, 7, or 8 months at a time, they fade into insignificance. They weren't always easy but they were part of the Naval life. The very special moment of being on the Round Tower in Portsmouth and watching a ship coming back after months away at sea, nothing can beat that for excitement.”
SSAFA … understands these problems that everybody's been through and the loneliness and the isolation following war…
“Of course one of the most important things is the charity SSAFA which understands the problems that everybody's been through and the loneliness and the isolation following war. Especially when you've been part of such close-knit group and suddenly you're on your own again. SSAFA reaches out to people in all kinds of different ways.