Live ChatHannah Illingworth, a musician in the Army Reserve, has three children with her husband Darren who serves as a regular in Queen Alexandra’s Royal Army Nursing Corps. Their second child, Adam has Autism. This year the family secured a place on SSAFA’s Short Breaks scheme. It was the first time in almost one year that they were able to have fun together as a family.
“Aged 15, I was a cadet and got asked to go and help one of the reserves bands, in the TA as it was then, and I just never left. I did two years with the band as an honorary member because I couldn't sign on until I was 17, and then, as soon as I turned 17, I enlisted. 27 years later and I’m still there. I've moved units a couple of times when we've been posted, but I always seem to end back with 7 Rifles.
“My husband is a regular. Darren started his time in the Royal Artillery Reserve and got promoted up to sergeant through that. In the meantime, he qualified as a nurse in civvy street, and then he transferred across to the 207 Field Hospital Reservists. But, because he was formerly in the Artillery, he came to do some training in our unit and I was in the Artillery band at the time. And that's how we met. He lent me his respirator. I suppose it doesn't get much more romantic than that, does it?!
“We have three kids together and Darren has an older son from a previous relationship. Together we've got Grace (14) Adam (12) and Jacob (6)."
We just want to spend time with the kids
“For our family personally, the past few months during the Covid-19 pandemic has not been easy, particularly with the children at home. It was horrendous, to be honest.
“We’ve been working, both my husband I, about 13-hour days, 6 days a week. It's just been ridiculous. We have had to get on with it, there's no choice. But it has been really, really stressful. It's put a lot of pressure on.
“Like a lot of people, we use family for support. If my husband and I needed a break, we would use my father, but he lives two hours away in an area that has been in local lockdown, he has diabetes and is of the age that makes him high risk. Added to that, his partner had a heart attack in early September, so we haven’t had any respite at all since the beginning of the year. We had a couple of days off in August from work, but that's the only time we've had. That's why we were so happy to be accepted onto SSAFA’s Short Breaks this year.
“I applied the day applications opened because I know that demand is always high, and then, in July, we were told we had a place. It was a chance to get away from everything. We didn’t take laptops. We just want to spend time with the kids without having to balance work as well.”
I don't think we've ever had a holiday where it's been so inclusive for everybody
The family took part in a wide variety of activities at the Exmoor Calvert Trust, from archery, climbing, swimming, abseiling and zip wiring to cycling around the reservoir.
“We did all the activities. We did so much, playing games and spending family time together. command tasks and built a fire and made our own popcorn on it. That was funny because we had to get to the fire pit wearing blindfolds!
“The kids loved it, even the little one who was the most gung-ho of all of them. Adam didn't take part in the climbing or abseiling because he decided he doesn't like heights, but other than that he loved it. They had opportunities they've never had before, and absolutely loved it.
“It was great to see everyone playing together, off of the Xbox or their phones. And they all played together despite their age gaps. We were laughing all the time. It was just so nice. I don't think we've ever had a holiday where it's been so inclusive for everybody. It made a massive difference.
“One of their favourite moments was when our instructor James told me I had to be quiet for the rest of a task because I was taking charge too much. The kids thought that was hilarious!
“Another great moment was when we were cycling. Darren had a bike with a seat on the front for Jake to sit in. We all kept overtaking an elderly couple out on a walk with their dog, until we reached a very steep hill. At one point it was so steep that the old lady pushed Darren and Jake up it!!
“The whole thing exceeded our expectations.
“James our instructor was incredible the way he included us all. He was extremely well trained to deal with Adam’s needs, but also made it fun for the whole family. The kids loved him. Because of Covid restrictions, he became part of our little bubble.
“The SSAFA staff were brilliant. They were always very friendly and welcoming and there if we needed them”
It was great that we even got to go!
SSAFA’s Short Breaks took place on 26th October 2020, during the coronavirus pandemic, just days before the second national lockdown came into force.
“Unfortunately, because of the COVID restrictions, we were unable to connect with the other families in a way that you normally would on the Short Breaks holiday, because there were five of us. We were all careful to stay socially distant. We did speak to a couple of families in the dinner hall on tables near us.
“We were lucky really because the week after we went into another national lockdown, so it was great that we even got to go!
“Because of everything that happened this year, Darren and I were certainly both pretty burned out before we went. We'd had no time off all year, and it was feeling very monotonous. We desperately needed a break, so to have that sort of break where the kids are all entertained, and we aren’t having to find things to do and cook and clean all the time was wonderful. We were exhausted from all the activities, but in the best possible way, and we had downtime in the evening too. The kids got a break from that too, no chores just fun.”
It gives a lot of people an opportunity to do things that they probably would never have even dreamed possible
“If we hadn’t had the chance to go on Short Breaks, we would probably end up working still. Even if we took time off, we’d still be checking emails in the evenings. And if we’d try and have days out with the kids, it would be quite hard to find something that's affordable, as well. If you go to a theme park, for all of us it's £100 or more, before you've even started with food, so it obviously all mounts up. Adam can also find those days out quite stressful.
“The funders probably don’t realise the difference and the impact that it all makes on families' lives, and particularly the fact that it gives a lot of people an opportunity to do things that they probably would never have even dreamed possible. Because the Calvert Trust is so good at ensuring inclusivity everyone can have a go at something. We can take the whole family, from age six up to my husband and me. And we can all have a go at the same activities and do things together. It's not necessarily somebody standing on the sidelines all the time with the little one while the big 2 have a go at something, or vice versa. It's something we can just do and get stuck into as a family. It makes a big difference.”
“To the people who support SSAFA’s Short Breaks and make it happen, thank you. It does make a huge difference to families like ours. We wouldn't have had any time as a family this year, at all. This helped us to get through the rest of the year. There's no way we could have afforded to go on a break like this, and it’s really hard to find things that entertain everybody. Just a huge thank you to you all. You have no idea the difference it makes.”